Grief makes you sick

Grief makes you sad

Grief makes you so filled with sorrow that there’s no room to breathe.

 

Grief makes you yearn

Grief makes you bewildered

Grief makes you different –

 

Grief makes you difficult to be around.

 

Grief makes you kinder

Grief makes you forgiving

Grief makes you understand that there is life and

Nothing but.

 

Grief makes you listen

Grief makes you see

Grief makes you feel

Everything, all at once, all the time.

 

Grief makes you laugh

Grief makes you cry

Grief makes you cry

 

 

Grief makes you cry

 

 

Cry

 

 

Grief makes you cry like there’s no tomorrow.

 

 

Grief makes you wiser

Grief makes you new friends

Pushes away old ones

And makes you rekindle old relationships.

 

 

Grief is a tangled love affair with

The person who is gone

The new life without them

And those you still need to bear.

 

 

Grief makes you take refuge

Grief makes you astonished

Grief leaves you breathless

 

 

Grief makes you want to stop

And surrender.

 

 

Grief makes you go on when it is impossible to do so

Grief makes you love when it is impossible to do so

 

Grief makes you love when it was impossible to do so.

 

 

Grief makes you addicted

To memory, to get by

Without.

 

Grief makes you cherish old plastic containers

Send text messages to ghosts

And cry a river to old ABBA songs.

 

Grief makes you age and resemble your Victorian great-grandmother

Grief makes you slower and gives you eye floaters

Grief makes you realize that what you thought was

is no longer.

 

Grief gives you magical powers

To be in the past while you’re experiencing the present

At the same time.

 

Grief makes you fat

Grief makes you drink

Grief makes you heavy

Grief makes you light

 

Grief makes you yearn for light, especially the sun.

 

And the sea.

And home.

 

Even if it’s not there anymore.

 

Grief makes you ugly

Grief makes you beautiful

Grief makes others ugly and beautiful.

 

Grief makes you wonder when it will ever be over when you know it will never be –

Just different, over time.

 

Grief makes you live

Grief makes you love

 

Grief makes you love deeper than you ever thought possible.

 

 

Grief makes you.

 

   * * *

Words & images (c) Megan Spencer. All rights reserved.